ceruleanfuckup:

fatale-distraction:

anarcho-bulbasaurism:

start referring to things you own as “your inventory”

“Jackie did I give you my keys?”
“idk lemme check my inventory *rustling in purse*”

“yeah mom hold on one sec I just need to equip my shoes”

felwa:

all good things are worth waiting for

8xns:

If you think about it in the shower, you’re not over it

art-notart:

just wanna find the softest grass i can find and lay down in it and look at the sky for a very very very long time

cantcontrolthegay:

*gets hit with feelings i thought i was over with* mmm i see that we’re recycling now

bumblebeebats:

Yesterday at work these two 12yo boys came through my line and i’m instantly like. oh Boy. Because solo children at a grocery store are always forces of chaos, good or bad

But thankfully these ones were totally pleasant, and when i asked if they wanted a receipt one of them pulled out a random fuckin receipt from his bag and asked “Do YOU???” and y’all, i lost my shit… What a power move. When will i ever be this funny

thebloodtingedmoon:

colour-punk:

dino-spine:

hungry-fangirl14:

If kinetic energy can be converted to thermal energy, how hard do I need to slap a chicken to cook it?

Magnificent

hotboyproblems:

me before showering: i don’t want to shower

me once in the shower: i live here now